Team Gai at the Movies
by hardxfreakinxcore
Summary: Well, the title explains all. Team Gai hits the movies! What terror will they stumble upon? The 'horror' genre is a joke, knowing me...


Hey! This is a random one-shot that came to me while I was reading. Credit for the idea goes to SapphireWhiteTigress. I figured the concept, Team Gai going to the movies, was too great to pass up.

The takes place pre-timeskip. Although that's not really relevant...

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of its characters or any of its... no that's it.

Maybe my computer's acting up, so I can't divide scenes using the line option during preview. I know, weird. So, settle for these lines for now.

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Team Gai at the Movies

After a day's worth of strenuous training, Maito Gai called for a team meeting. His students sighed collectively, recalling the past 'team meetings'. Usually, Gai would tackle the most trivial subjects, including Tenten and Lee's constant quarreling, Neji's stoicism, or the ever-humiliating event in which Gai caught Neji and Lee reading a 'suggestive magazine'. (1) All past aside, 'team meetings' never ended well.

"Team!" Gai announced to his exhausted teammates. "I have gathered you here today to proclaim some fabulous news!" He winked and performed the infamous Nice Guy Pose. Lee mimicked him, momentarily forgetting his 'battle wounds' due to his excruciating training.

Neji groaned. _He's happy… that can't be good. _Miffed, yet remaining as indifferent as always, he crossed his arms and rolled his eyes.

Unlike Neji, Tenten tried to have a positive outlook! _Hey, it could be worse! Just remember that incident when Gai found Lee and Neji reading that magazine…_

"So, team. Now for the good news! I have purchased four tickets to the brand new horror film, 'When Undead Ninjas Attack!' for tonight!" Still beaming, and one could easily detect utter delight emanating from him; Gai searched one of the pockets in his Jonin vest, and whipped out said tickets. "Isn't that fantastic?"

Neji and Tenten were relieved. "That's great, sensei! It came out just yesterday!" Tenten exclaimed, almost as thrilled as Lee. "I've been dying to see it!"

"Hmm," Lee pondered for a moment, scratching his chin after considerably calming down. "I've never seen a horror film before…" Neji grinned evilly, brightening up at his comment. _Knowing how excitable and naïve he is,_ _this has 'Watch Lee Be Scared out of His Wits' all over it…_

"Oh, _you'll see,_" was the only commentary he provided. Lee raised an eyebrow. "Anyways, what time does the movie start, sensei?" Neji inquired, trying to hide his delight in imagining Lee's impending terror.

"At ten o' clock sharp! I figured a night show would help set the mood. Now, I expect all three of you to arrive on time! Understood?"

"Yes!" His students answered, and Lee saluted.

"Superb!" He glanced at his teammates and gave them a winning smile. Momentarily blinded by the brilliant shine in his teeth, Tenten winced and shielded her eyes. "Dismissed!"

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"Great job, Neji! You're _late!" _Tenten criticized as the remainder of the squad stood near the entrance of the theatres. Neji shot her a murderous glare.

"I had some duties to the clan I had to take care of. _So-rry." _

"You should be. Geez! Get your priorities in order, Neji," she taunted, sticking out her tongue. Neji shook his head and teasingly faced his back to her.

After a few more minutes of anxiously waiting on Lee and Gai to cease one of their rants about 'Youth and the Power of Patience', Tenten furiously threw her arms up in the air and stormed inside.

"Let's go!" she commanded in a severe tone. Lee and Gai glared at Neji.

"God, Neji! How did you mess things up _this time?_" Lee demanded as his mentor and he followed Tenten's example. Neji gaped at them, before treading in after them.

_Why me?_

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Gai rushed Lee and Tenten over to the concession stand at breakneck speed. After stepping in line, he checked behind him before speaking in a low whisper. "Alright, since Neji is _obviously_ paying for everything, we might be on a bit of a tight budget, as I'm sure he didn't plan on paying."

Tenten stared at him curiously, crossing her arms. "Then _why_ are you making Neji pay for everything?"

"Because he was here last!" he affirmed with unusual authority. Lee and Tenten weren't buying it, and Gai sheepishly scratched the back of his head. "Or I _might _have forgotten my wallet at home." His students couldn't help but chuckle. Gai continued casually, "but let's pretend you didn't that."

"Didn't hear _what?_" A suspicious voice asked. Neji joined the group, tapping his foot impatiently.

"That Gai-sensei said he left his wallet at home and now you're paying for everything since you arrived last!" Lee blurted foolishly, and remarkably, in one breath. Instantly aware of three irate scowls, he laughed nervously. "I mean, no! We were just talking about, uh…" Lee trailed off, trying desperately to conjure a fitting excuse. Unable to, he shrugged his shoulders helplessly, his eyes pleading for forgiveness. "Heh… _whoops?_"

He promptly earned a smack from Tenten. Lee was always a horrible liar.

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The mere sight of all the sugary delights, along with nearly every edible substance known to man, being purchased by Team Gai would cause one to feel sick to the stomach. Much to Neji's dismay, Lee and Gai decided to embark on a 'candy-shopping spree', costing him every cent he owned (which he was saving for some of those shuriken featured in 'Ninja Accessories Weekly', thank you very much!). And so, the ever-youthful team entered the darkened theatre, and climbed the steps until they agreed on a satisfactory seating area.

Immediately, Lee and Gai attacked the popcorn, or the 'Clogged-Arteries-in-a-Bag', as Tenten dubbed it. During the span of ten minutes, Neji left for at least three popcorn refills for the Dynamic Duo. Mind you, they ordered extra-large each time. Agitated, Neji finally marched back to his seat after his third trip to the concession stands and, soon enough, the opening previews for upcoming movies commenced.

As the sneak-peek at premiere films dragged on, Team Gai wished they had picked seats next to fellow moviegoers who weren't so… _intimate. _Despite their blatant hints for the couples to stop, they paid them no attention and resumed 'sucking each other's brains out', as Tenten cleverly worded it. Although Neji and Gai snickered at her jest, Lee found the phrase _so _hysterical; he decided he must announce it to the world so all can marvel at its hilarity!

"_Sucking each other's brains out? _That's rich!" Lee lapsed into a fit of laughter, and then proceeded to choke on his soda. Unfortunately, his comment was quite untimely; his outburst occurred during a passionate love scene during the trailer for "Icha Icha Paradise: The Second Movie". Consequently, all the males in the room hushed at him, threw popcorn in his direction, or performed rude hand gestures. And Tenten smacked his arm. Hard. Lee had the good sense to keep silent. For a while, at least.

After several nosebleeds on Neji and Lee's part during the trailer for said film, the _real_ movie began! At first, it kicked off with a slow start, with nothing but dialogue and 'relevant back story essential to the plot' was provided. But Lee didn't care about that! When would the action start?

"_Pssssssssst! NEJI!"_ Lee whispered, unaware that his 'whisper' was clearly audible by everyone in the vicinity. Neji shook his head in frustration.

"Way to be discreet, Lee. _Now, what_?" he demanded, trying to ignore the annoyed stares in his group's direction.

"When's the 'horror' going to happen? This IS a horror film, right?" Lee inquired a few thousand decibels softer.

"Oh, don't worry, Lee. _It'll happen,_" and Neji grinned, already trying to psyche him out. "_Expect the unexpected._ And pass the 'Clogged-Arteries-in-a-Bag, please."

Considering Neji's cryptic message, Lee absent-mindedly handed him the popcorn bag, which resulted in the contents spilling over poor, sufferable Neji. Attempting to remain composed, he stated in an even tone:

"Just you wait, Lee. _Just you wait._"

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_Revenge is sweet, _Neji thought as he watched the main character cautiously traveled along an abandoned trail, searching for the remains of an ex-ANBU operative with a satisfied expression. The only minor setback to watching the film with his teammates was that his sensei had the peculiar habit of bursting into hysterics during the horror scenes.

But that was okay, as it made Lee even _more _frightened. His colleague's eyes bugged out, if possible, more than usual, and he lost the ability to blink. Lee, trembling in utter panic, caused the popcorn to fall over for the second time, but Neji refused to leave the movie. Neji smirked, paying more attention to Lee's antics than the plot. _Can't wait until another horror scene comes up. The first was a gut-buster, that's for sure._ Neji sipped his soda. And, sure enough…

"_AIIIEEEEEEE!" _Lee's voice cracked miserably, so he sounded akin to a traumatized, frightened schoolgirl. Too petrified to be embarrassed, he continued to holler whilst his voice screeched. "TH-THE UNDEAD EX-ANBU OPERATIVE JUST MASSACRED THAT HELPLESS CHUUNIN!"

"Thank you, Captain Obvious," commented Tenten, smacking his arm in the process.

For the second time, all in the theatre hushed at him, threw popcorn in his direction, or performed rude hand gestures. Tenten sighed, only a bit shaken at the sight of the chuunin gruesomely murdered by the undead ex-ANBU operative. Meanwhile, Gai laughed heartedly as the chuunin's extremities were viciously ripped apart. Neji cackled at Lee's expense, taking another sip of his precious soda.

Much to Lee's relief, the movie's action died down after the previous incident. During the scenes with dialogue, Gai and Lee convinced Neji to return to the concession stands _one last time _for more popcorn. Besides, he needed a soda refill. When he returned, he noticed that a 'horror scene' was approaching, as the movie neared its conclusion.

Neji sipped his soda._ This will be fun. Very -_

"_AAAAAAAAAH!"_ Once again, Lee's piercing screams filled the theatre. One would say he was experiencing a seizure, judging by his terrible convulsions. Immediately, he latched arms with Gai and Tenten, the two people sitting next to him. Although Gai was in high spirits as he hooted with laughter, Tenten was quite startled.

"_LEEEEEEEEE!" _Now both were yelling. Neji, taking in the bizarre mannerisms of his teammates, snorted with laughter. Which resulted in him shooting soda out of his nose, and then he _really _began to choke.

Bizarre mannerisms, indeed. Unfortunately for Team Gai, the moviegoers didn't find their actions as humorous.

Wouldn't you believe it? Team Gai was thrown out of the theatre, and they all received a permanent restriction from _ever _stepping within a 100-foot radius from the entrance.

After Lee had overcome his nerves, Neji spoke first. "So, yeah. I think that 'team-bonding' experience went rather well…"

Tenten glared. "Oh, shut up Neji. We know this is all your fault."

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Read and Review! Constructive criticism, compliments, all appreciated!

1) Neji and Lee caught reading a suggestive magazine... Well, for all of you who read Naruto: Sex Ed might have figured out that I have a sequel planned once I finish either of my current stories! In that one-shot, follow along with Neji's toils in attaining a certain perverted novel...

And if you're curious about Gai's laughter... well, I've always found horror movies very stupid, and I always laugh at the 'horror scenes'. It's all too predictable, you know?


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